Reflections on 2020

In my end-of-year blog post for the last two years, I wrote something along the lines of "This has been the hardest ministry year ever." 

Well, I think it's safe to say that 2020 supersedes all previous years! And I think it's also true that leadership in ministry is just hard, pandemic or no pandemic. And what a year it has been!

Instead of going into all the hard things about 2020, I thought perhaps something more encouraging might be better suited for my year-end reflections. Although there were plenty of challenging aspects of this year, I also can look back and give thanks for multiple ways God has provided and been at work in ministry life.

Staff Conference 

It feels like ages ago, but in January of 2020, our staff gathered in Orlando. I was both proud of the design work I got to contribute as well as grateful for how God met us there. One significant takeaway was the four themes we received through a time of listening prayer. The Design team got to create art to go with those themes, which in itself was a really fun and meaningful process. As I reflect on these words and themes eleven months later, I sense God was providing hope and encouragement ahead of what would be a hard year. More on the art piece I worked on personally further below!

Learning

Early in the year I began taking a couple of online courses through a Design company called IDEO. My plan had been to complete three classes which would lead to a Foundations in Creative Leadership Certificate. I only made it through two classes before making the hard decision to postpone the third,  given the strain of working from home with a toddler. However, both classes I did complete were so life-giving and formative, and I've already applied a lot of the learning in my leadership and creative work on the team. I hope to take the third class in January 2021.

Summer Interns

One issue our team faced when we started working remotely, was how to manage our summer internship program. I hired two interns this summer and ran the entire internship remotely, Carrie working from Milwaukee and Natalie in Chicago. Thankfully, working from a distance went pretty smoothly. They contributed both to our team life as well as several important projects, which was especially helpful while one of our other team members was on sabbatical. At the end of the summer, they both drove up to Madison so we could all have lunch and actually meet in person. We even got to give them a tour of the office for the first time!

A New Designer

I've already mentioned this in our last email/letter update, but another thing I'm grateful for is our new full-time designer, Alice, who I hired this fall. After almost a year of searching for a fourth team member, I'm so thrilled that God provided Alice. She is both talented and also has such a strong heart for Jesus. As I've gotten to know her better over the last couple of months, I grow to be more and more excited that she's joining our team. Please keep praying with me that her fundraising process goes well (and quickly!) so she can start working with us soon.

My Supervisor

Working remotely has significantly shrunk down the number of people I interact with regularly. As an introvert, this probably bothers me less than others. But I have still felt the loss of community and social interaction that we are all experiencing these days. Other than the team I supervise, the main person I've remained in close contact with is my supervisor Dan. We meet twice a week for 30 minutes (often more!). I have been so grateful that we have the kind of relationship where I can be open about what's been hard, share observations and sometimes grievances, and feel supported. I truly feel like I can trust him and know he has my back in all the things that have been challenging this year. 

Pat

Pat is now the only coworker I interact with in person! Fortunately, we do work in separate rooms in the house which has provided some healthy space during lockdown. Even though we work on different teams, it has been helpful to have someone else who understands the ministry world. When Pat was on sabbatical, he carried a larger load of home responsibilities, which alleviated so much of my stress during an especially intense work season. I'm grateful that we get to be partners both in life but also in ministry and work.

Ugly Babies* 

This year I piloted "Ugly Baby" projects, an innovative "think tank" of sorts, where team members can pitch new ideas and create prototypes in collaboration with others. When I set out to start this, I planned for it to grow our cross-team working relationships and also generate new ideas that would propel ministry and creative thinking. I had no idea it would also be one of the only channels many of us would have to even interact and work together this year. Given the limitations of working remotely, I've been so impressed with the level of innovation we've achieved. Although it's been hard to make these projects a priority, they have been a source of joy and satisfaction in the midst of other stressful work. A few ideas are also in the works of being further developed!

*a term for new, unformed ideas that need nurturing, taken from the book, Creativity Inc.

A Real Baby!

This is perhaps somewhat unrelated to ministry, but feels significant to mention. At the end of 2019, Pat and I felt it was time to try growing our family. Despite the uncertainties that came as COVID hit, we continued trying while the world around us felt unstable. It was an especially lonely time as month after month we were unsuccessful, bearing this weight without community and contact with others. 

In June I made an appointment with my midwife, hoping for some answers. I also decided to tell a few trusted friends about our struggle. Both of these steps brought peace and comfort even though we still weren't sure what would happen.

Then one morning in August, I saw the two lines on my pregnancy test that we had been waiting for! We were overjoyed. In a year where waiting has felt so challenging, I'm thankful to have something happy and exciting to anticipate. In some ways, this period of carrying a child has reflected the journey of this past year - one filled with both fear and hope. Waiting for something still unseen and unknown. 

In January I created this art piece in response to the theme of "transition" and "birthing something new" from Staff Conference. During our prayer time, many staff saw images of birth or pregnancy as a symbol of transition in our movement. Indeed, this year has been one of adaptation, change, and transition for all of us. It surely seems like God is making something new through us and in us. And in my own life that has been true as well, both in this pregnancy and in my ministry life. I can see that God is clearly getting me ready for transition in multiple ways. And this image I drew will always serve as a reminder of that. 

Thank You

It still remains to be seen how this year will shape our world and our lives for years to come. I'm sure I could write a list ten times as long if I thought about it more (and if you had the patience to read it!). I want to thank all of you who have come alongside my family and me through your prayers, financial support, and love. During a season where we're longing for connection and hope, I'm so grateful for our community of ministry partners.